This is a hard one for me to find a good balance. I am continuously aware that I as an INTP have the tendency to put the task before the person.

I push hard when I need to get something done. I am demanding. I am, sometimes, relentless and walk over people.

That works fine when you are a manager, it is still ok when you are a director, but it is definitely a barrier to the next level. I recognized this a few years back, when I was still with Whirlpool. Especially the work I did with Kathy Pyatt on Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (TM) opened my eyes. To this day I remember a meeting where I was less than collegial to a former subordinate in the presence of his supervisor and the manager once removed. I still cringe when I remember the conversation.

That said, I am working on it. My consulting business has helped me a lot. I have strengthened the people aspects of my thinking. I am aware of nodding. I “get” different conversion speeds for different folks. I am more patient and less pushy.

I have to work on this every day. When I am stressed, the old Jay comes back. Awareness helps, as does practice. I am getting there!